POST WEDDING BLUES

After your marriage bliss, newlyweds (especially the brides) rarely acknowledge that they actually experience a period of letdown following the excitement of your recently concluded wedding. It was your most awaited moment and now, it’s over. This feeling is actually called post wedding blues. It was that you were used to feel exhausted (yet fulfilled) during your preparations and now, it was all over. You were somewhat lost and is asking for direction where to go next.

The feeling needs to be acknowledged and here are few things that will help you address it:

1.       Stop, look & listen. Your marriage is not just all about your wedding. It is but a part of the whole picture. It just made things official. Your task, was not just the wedding, but the entire marriage. Shift your attention on knowing your spouse more for example so as to make the marriage work best.

2.       You have company. Understand that you are not the only person on over 7 billion population of the world who experienced the same. Give yourself a tap on the back and say hey, I did a great job! Stand and be proud of your accomplishments on the wedding and how you’ll become a better spouse.

3.       You are very much valued. Your wedding (or your marriage), and on how they transpire does not define you as a person. Be it known that there is no such thing as a PERFECT wedding. Do not linger on things wherein you think that you could have done better. They happened because of only one reason: it is because that’s what it really is.

4.       Remember your accomplishments that put you on where you are now. Your savings on getting cheaper flower sets? Your wedding cake that was almost a disaster but you phoned your carpenter to fix the base? Your best friend who attended your wedding despite of her tight schedule? Your family who barely gather united but were all present on your big day? And a lot more. You did a good job but actually, your negative thoughts are over riding them. DON’T!

5.       Hold your crystal ball and look at the future. How will I design our living room? Whats the color of my bed sheet? What will be our first pet together? What will be the name of our baby? Do I want my eldest to be girl or boy? How much weight are we really going to gain in the next 5 years?

6.       Travel together. Try to visit a new place together. Doesn’t actually need to be out of country. A simple place where you will find solitude to seek peace and contentment on your newfound source of joy.

7.       It will pass. Be convinced that everything goes. Time will pass and you will surely overcome the blues. The earlier you make yourself believe that it’s normal, the earlier your blues will be blown to the air. Acceptance is the key. Acknowledge, accept, move on.

8.       Seek professional help. And if things really go south, consult a counselor. We do have our own unique ways of resolve and this is one of those.

Your blues are normal. But again, don’t ignore it. Remember, you are all set to start a new chapter and you don’t want to start on the wrong foot. Lift your marriage to our great omnipotent and all will be fine. 

WHAT'S NEXT AFTER YOUR WEDDING

Breath in, breath out. Your day is over and now, youre back to your new reality; your married life. Its pretty normal to like dream of the wedding still but, you have a lot on your plate to think of. Believe it or not, most of the time, newlyweds end up with debts after the wedding. Suppliers who gave you a credit term for your payment. But relax, this is not a reason to panic. Remember: you now have a better half to split the expenses with (grins)!

Being married requires two individuals to be mutually agreeing on almost everything. Agreeing means at least, being one in every decision making process. Being together on facing on the consequences of what may transpire. And more importantly, at the end of the day, you both have accepted each other’s differences.

Arguments, even on your first year is inevitable. Sometimes, it takes time for everything to sink in. Here are some tips for you to ponder upon:

1.       Think of your better half’s best trait. If you think you know your husband/wife already, you are so wrong. There are many things that you’ll know after your marriage. From snoring to smelly socks, things may get worse. Remind yourself on things where he/she is good at. Instead of thinking of the problem, make yourself busy on the solution. And gradually, apply those.

2.       Divide and conquer. Come with an agreement with your spouse regarding household chores. This is where you both need to compliment with each other. You should work as a team. Assign the tasks and determine who’s in charge so you both will have a sense of responsibility.

3.       Work on a short term & long term plan. Having a detailed plan is a critical ingredient of a successful marriage. Sit and find time to discuss the blueprint of your plan. You may still be on your honeymoon stage but as early as that, you should know where you both are heading in the future.

4.       Be patient. As I said, you will discover a lot of things. Things that are even worse on what you might have imagined. Be patient. Be ready to effect change. Be sensitive on what your spouse will say. He/she is already an extension of yourself so give each other time to make the necessary adjustment. Well of course, not too long though.

5.       Express yourself. This is your chance to get real. Do not hide your emotions and or feelings. Say it. This will make your partner know his/her limits. This will also help your spouse understand you better. Be open.

6.       Settle the disputes, on or before bedtime. As they say, don’t let a day pass. Find a way deal with misunderstandings promptly. Delaying things will only create a wider gap between you both. Having them is normal. Knowing how to deal with each of them matters. Remember; all BIG fights came from small ones who weren’t addressed properly.

7.       A happy wife is a happy marriage. Always make yourself available for her. Be on her side ALWAYS. Believe me, this works!

Every marriage will have a bump. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Understand the fact that your marriage is not an exemption. As early as your honeymoon stage, you might have those doubts. Hold on tight. Remember that God blessed your union and He will never allow anything that is irrelevant. Your love for each other shall overcome any trial. This is just the beginning. You’ve got a lifetime more to go.

YOUR BIG DAY

The long wait is over! After all the grueling days and nights of preparations, meetings, seminars, et al, it’s here! This is the day that you’ve been dreaming of. Your prince & princess days are over. You should be ready to be a crowned king and queen. What do you do on this day? What has to be done? Shall you just wait and let everything be on God’s hand? Let’s find out.

1.       Get some good sleep. Rest well the night before your big day. You don’t want to look like a mess on your big day right? Believe it or not, no one looked pretty whenever he/she has no sleep. Think of it as your gift to yourself for a job well done on the preparation. Your body has to be relaxed.

2.       Be calm. Calmness in terms of feelings. This is not the day to shout anymore. This is not the day to raise your eyebrows. We all are aware of the phrase “nothing is perfect” so somehow, something unexpected might happen so, don’t forget, be CALM! You should know by now how to handle things with elegance.

3.       Makeup artists? BE ON TIME! Before thinking of your good-looking photos, you have to make sure first that your makeup team arrives on time. Otherwise, everything will be delayed. Your pre-nu shoots on the day itself, your SDE coverage, your photo ops with the entourage, EVERYTHING (and I mean it), will be delayed. Since everything starts with a makeup, book your makeup artist 30 mins before the actual scheduled time. You know, they’ll arrive 30 mins late, so, better be smart than sorry.

4.       Eat. We strongly suggest that you have a heavy breakfast. Heavy not to the extent that your gown won’t be zipped anymore. Heavy so to say because, you will find it hard to have a complete meal afterwards. Prepare that your next food intake will be after the reception.

5.       Orient your entourage. It would be best to keep your entourage into one single place a night before your big day if possible. This will enable you to have a quick meeting with them so they will be reminded by their tasks on the big day. It works!

6.       Surrender the day to HIM. This day was actually your partner and you, who is making a compromise to Him. Let him handle each and every single thing on your big day. He will never let you down (as always)! Let His will happen and offer it all to. Surrender it.

Bear in mind that again, nothing is perfect. Human flaws will be redundant but, don’t mind them. The most important thing to do on your big day is just one thing: have FUN!

YOUR WEDDING BUDGET

Budgeting in business is a “process of preparing detailed statement of financial results that are expected for a given period of time in the future. But what is budgeting to a wedding? It is simply who you are, and who you want to be. Budgeting allows you to measure your capabilities/resources as against your expected outcome on the said event. It is a sure not-to-miss part of your wedding plan (see previous blog- wedding planning tips) as it helps you picture out almost everything that will happen on that day. But how are you going to do your budget?

Before we give you the guides, let me be clear on a norm that people often have, I should say “misconceptions”. There is no RULE on who should shoulder the wedding cost (let me be clear on that, especially to men), BUT, as a practice, the groom use to do that. As a couple, while making your wedding plans, you should both be clear to where will the funds will be taken from. Marriage is a UNION of two people thus, “sharing” is also a good idea to venture to (just saying). Again, this will all depend on you and your partner. This might require some negotiation skills though especially to men, yeah?

Anyway, on your budgeting process, below are some points to ponder upon:

1.       Food- believe it or not, there are people who goes to weddings only for this. And normally, these are also the people as to where you will hear complaints if their plates turned up empty.  Long queue to serve the food, water is not cold, food servers aren’t courteous, and the likes. But guess what, there is some good news! Rice, drinks, and the normal dishes, almost taste the same! No matter what twists you make, the food will always have a standard taste. All you have to do is find a decent caterer who knows their role, who also meet your required food items, which will be enough to fill the “tummies” of ALL your guests. The only thing you should beware on here: food should be ENOUGH.

2.       Flowers- grooms, please let your bride decide on this. We were attracted to girls that’s why we are getting married so, there is a big chance that you don’t have a pink toy, or so to say, flower arranging skills/knowledge or whatsoever. Paper flowers, fresh flowers, or any type of flower will do, based on the brides desires, as long as the allocation on your budget is met.

3.       Church/Officiants/Choir/Carpet/Candles- I almost ran out of space but these are mostly the fees that you pay to the church where the ceremony will be held. This is assuming that you will have a standard Catholic Church wedding. These costs varies from parish to another so better pick up that phone now and dial the parish’ admin to know them.

4.       Transportation & Accommodation- not all grooms and brides are from the same place. Sometimes, a guy from North Pole fell in loved to a girl from South Pole. Imagine? And both sides has to be represented right? These type of costs has to be carefully studied upon. Book your plane tickets early (cost will always be cheaper if booked way advanced). Make hotel reservations early as well. Look for promos. And most importantly, manage your head count well. Add up all these costs and compare the same to your budget allocation.

5.       Souvenirs- these doesn’t actually need to be extravagant. What matters on a souvenir is its uniqueness and craftsmanship. Of course, this has to be something related to you and your brides “history” for it to linger. J

6.       Coordinators- believe it or not, it is now a career! People make money out of this. Anyway, we don’t want to absorb all the stress that’s why these people exists. Depending on your budget, you can hire them but as an advice, take those whom you know that CARES. Someone who will be dedicated to make sure everything is under control and take out that extra burden upon you.

7.       Attires- depending on your financial flexibility, you can buy your entourage their respective dresses. Having it done from a single place/tailor means, perfect uniformity in styles which we all aim for your entourage. It is a great gift as well to everyone if they can own the gowns/tux afterwards (just saying).

8.       Documentation- this is where you put most of your budget. Again, put that extra $$$$ here so your wedding will look fab and professionally made. Don’t settle for less. This is one of those memories that will remain forever and having it done professionally will always matter.

Your budget is who you are, and who you want to be. Prepare for it financially but don’t resort to loans. You are planning your budget in advance so you can manage your cash flows accordingly. Do not go beyond your limit. You may put millions on your wedding but at the end of the day, people will always have an opinion as to how your wedding went. Don’t bother. It’s YOUR wedding anyway and not THEIRS.

Ciao!

WEDDING PLANNING TIPS

It’s been a while since we had our latest blog. No excuses but sometimes, lying into bed thinking of nothing to do next (laziness-in short) is something to ponder upon (high five!). But since we’re back, we have to gather again pieces of our gained knowledge with regards to your dream day ceremony. Today, we will be tackling about your blue print: your wedding plan.

Everybody has a “plan”. We all do make plans. The next big question is: did your plan really happened “as planned”? I don’t think so. People do normally plan but seems to miss one key factor: execution. This is actually the main reason why you make a plan. For you to have something to execute. For you to know what to do. For you to have a guide. Don’t misplace though planning with execution. I just put an emphasis on execution as your plan is useless, if there will be no one to make that plan happen.

Wedding planning is one of the most excruciating part of all. Your plan has to be based on several factors: budget (of course), time availability, location, religion, traditions etc to name a few. But no matter how specific your upcoming “predictions” are, here are few tips which should be part of your wedding plan for you to ponder upon.

1.      Be certain- have a fixed date on your mind. You and your wife-to-be has to agree on the date “beyond reasonable doubt”! The date is actually the day where all the arrow will be aimed at so, better be certain and please, agree on it first.

2.    Your dream- people varies. We all have different perceptions on what is our dream wedding. The wedding has to be in parallel with your personality. Something that people can really relate to, based on you as a person. Something that you can really call, your own.

3.     Be on target- identify the church and your reception area as early as possible. Book it! Weddings nowadays especially in Philippines needs lead time as they got year-long bookings in advance so beware. You might be imagining yourself walking down the aisle in Manila Cathedral, only to find out that the next available date is 2 years from now!

4.     Know your vendors- videography, flowers and décor, caterer, coordinators etc. These are the people who you will entrust your few hours greatness so better know them. Do a research and look for feed backs. Know their old clients if possible. In this world where google knows better than anyone else, you should find what you are looking for. But don’t forget: stay within budget.

5.     Entourage- people amongst people within you and your partner. These are mostly family members and real close friends. Those people who shared a special part on your heart. Has nothing to do with the looks (wink) but, prefer those who were really extra especial.

6.     Attires- Who will shoulder our entourage dresses? How long can the tailor finish the order? To where will these be delivered? Who can do on the day repairs? What is your motif????? Tons of questions to be certain about.

7.     How to send invites- People often miss this process. You should know who amongst your attendees will receive the invites from yourself. Make sure to prioritize the primary sponsors too. Even relatives nowadays awaits a formal invitation copy from you! Take note of that.

8.       Manage your budget- your budget is something that you always have to refer on every time you make a decision. This is something that needs careful analysis on things that you can forego and keep. Make sure to keep it updated.

Again, a plan is useless without execution. Don’t forget the main reason of your plan which is to make things less complicated and should serve as a guide, not as an added pressure. 

Till next time.

A taste of aerial wonder (Decasalarin, Baler)

            Weddings nowadays is not a joke. It will not just be physically exhausting but also financially as well and you all are aware of that. The average Philippine weddings for now ranges from 200k to 600k and take note: these are considered as "average"! While you are working on your budget, it is a common norm now that you should include a more considerable amount to your videographer/photographer. Documenting your most special day in the most artistic and eloquent way as possible is a must as this document will last more than your lifetime and you are giving a chance the next generation to come to have a glimpse of your wedding day (chills)! So, better invest on your videographer!

            Philippines is composed of 7,100 plus islands. Truth is, you need to take advantage of this scenario. The Philippines is considered as one of Asia’s top tourist destinations and one of the major reason was: its pristine beaches. Beaches will surely be a perfect location for your shoots as you are entitled to many options for your theme. You can have sunsets/sunrise, boat rides, rock formations, and of course, breath-taking aerial shots. Nothing new with this blog but little tips again on how to do your shoot in a beach.

1.       Advance booking. Not all of the beaches in the Philippines are developed. You may even find it weird but the best ones are still yet to be discovered. Most of them aren’t ran by a developer but only mostly by caretakers. Once you’re done picking a spot, make sure you pay it a visit in advance or make a call to properly confirm your schedule. You don’t want to end up sending your photographers team back home just because the road might be under construction or so.

2.       Be there an evening before the shoot. We strongly suggests that you arrive at the location the evening before. This will give you enough rest and proper adjustment to the surroundings. Don’t arrive in the morning or afternoon as well. You don’t want to show those tan lines at the shoot right?

3.       Store some strength. Take some physical preparations as your shoot might include climbing, walking, or hiking just to be at your most perfect spot. Being on top of the hill usually makes a perfect aerial view. These, you don’t want to miss!

4.       Ask “Kuya Kim”. Weather consideration has to be emphasized. You don’t want to do your shoot while knowing that there is a low pressure area on board. The drones that your photographer use aren’t really wind friendly. Or they don’t want to take your pictures while a tsunami alert is on either! Check the weather forecast for the whole year and you can simply identify which months are less likely to have weather disturbance.

5.       Discuss the theme to your team. Be aware that your photographer is working on a theme that you want (and that’s why you paid them). You don’t want to keep them guessing all the time. Discuss with them the outfits that you have, how you want it to be portrayed. Pro’s already have an idea in mind how they do shoots but you don’t want to end up appearing like the other wedding shoot you saw on their gallery yesterday right? You seek uniqueness and that is the name of the game.

6.       FOOD. It is on caps and yes I mean it. You might be following a strict diet plan since your day is approaching but your photographer’s team and crew aren’t. The best way to motivate them deliver good results is to make them dream of their dinner at 12 noon.

7.       Inhale, Exhale. Take this opportunity to relax. Your big day is coming very soon and all your hard work will pay off. Consider this as your day off after the shoot. Free your mind from suppliers list, guest’s lists, caterer’s requests, reception decors etc. This is that day where you can sober up and meditate. You don’t go to beach everyday anyway so, grab the chance. Who knows, your fiancé might need a break too?


The main reason for our prenup shoot (again) in Philippines was actually to be an ice-breaker
between us and our videographer. We feel that we have to meet them before the actual day so
we can know them better and also develop rapport. And we were never wrong.

We had our shoot again in a place called Decasalarin, Baler, Aurora. It was a 4 hr drive from
our place (Gapan, Nueva Ecija). It was one hot summer day and while on the trip itself, it was
already fun.I also brought my mom and other family members with me so they can have fun 
as well. We just arrived on our way inside the resort when we were suddenly stopped by a 
group of men saying that the  road was under construction and there was no way for us to go 
inside the beach. I told them i will be willing to walk just to make that trip complete and 
fortunately, my husband was able to rent a motorized banca which will take us to the same 
location. We were finally able to start the shoot and despite all the obstacles, when you reach 
that tip of the hill, you will be mesmerized. Not just by the view but for by the entire beauty 
of nature as God has given us. We will share with you some aerial shoots (raw files). We 
highly recommend the place. It is quiet, modest, practical (around 150 php entrance per head)
 and of course, captivating. Below are some of our photos.

Prenuptial Photo shoot: is not just a pose ( Tips and advise)

          Prenup shoot is one of your pre-wedding recipes that must be done. Well, your bride-to-be surely wants to tell the world how fabulous she will be on her big day right? Grooms might have this feeling that it is just an extra ceremony which is not really important (especially when you were born in the 80's) but nowadays, it is a MUST! It will not only put your wedding into the map to your family and friends but actually, it is a good exercise for your soon-to-be tested patience & more patience.

          Being an OFW couple, we don't have that much time in the Philippines to do all the shoots needed. It means that somehow, we have to have that prenup shoot here (Kuwait) as a back up plan before we take our flight to Philippines for our grand day. This was one of the experiences that will make you get that advance feeling of your upcoming challenges or should i say hiccups. And just like our first blog, we have few tips for you to ponder upon.

          1. Always have a plan B. Things doesn't always work the way we want them to be. We might have had pictured ourselves on a shiny suit or a gown wearing your most authentic smile but, that is not a one shot deal. You have to come up with a direct option to go to plan B when things get out of hand using plan A.

          2. Not too close, yet not so far. I am referring to the date of your prenup shoot. The most ideal date as what almost everybody suggest is around 2-3 months before your actual wedding day. This will also allow your guests to manage their schedules well and book their tickets earlier (at a more affordable price). This will also allow you to properly build the "hype" at a pace that is just enough to make your family and friends up-to-date without them being "irritated" of your daily dose of posts.

          3. Never procrastinate. What you can do now, just do it now. That is why it is called "YOUR" prenup shoot it is because it will be all about you and your partner. Be right on track on every aspect of your preparation as you planned because before you might notice it: that day already arrived.

          4. Theme matters. Your shoot is not a click&go affair. Its not a simple camera shot and photo collages. It should have a deeper meaning for it to make sense. It should somehow reflect your story and your partner. It should somewhat give a hint on how you two met? It might somewhat give people an idea how your upcoming wedding will look like. Depending on your taste, there should be a theme that will be consistent all throughout.

          5. Checklist. From your props to your slightest make up, you should be able to tick them all up before you go to shoot. Shoots aren't usually done near your backyard so if you happen to miss one, it means that your entire concept might be in jeopardy.

          6. Be with "Darla". Do not go to shoot thinking you can do all. You cant just simply manage everything on your own. Make sure that you have someone to assist you on your make up and your outfits. You must be with someone who can provide assistance with care and compassion. You don't have to hire a pro. A close friend will do.

          7. Have a good night sleep. The most perfect photos comes from a perfect body rest. When you are properly rested, your smile will simply show it all. Remember that each photo says a thousand meaning and being in a yawning mood wont help.


We came up short on our first attempt for the prenup shoot but luckily, our photographer was patient enough to give it another shot. And eventually, upon learning from our first experience, we were able to do much better on our second attempt. Below were our photos during our prenup shoot held in Kuwait.